Javawolf: You, Me, and Everything

No more

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 21:54:07 GMT

Well. I forgot about this again. Whatever. This is... kinda pointless actually. This is such a waste of my time! Omg! Forget this.

"That's how I like my weekends."

Sun, 31 Aug 2008 21:52:59 GMT

Yet again I forgot all about this. I'll get it right sooner or later. Tropical storm Fay came and went, so we got a lot of rain, and a day out of school. Now Gustav is coming but it looks like it's going to miss us. Why couldn't it be just a little closer, just enough for the school board to freak out and close my school? The only reason it even closed for Fay is probably because of the time we got sent to school during a tornado warning and the school got chewed out. Idiots.
Anyway, three day weekend! Tomorrow is Labor Day. If Gustav would do what I wanted it to we might get a four day weekend. Doesn't look like that's going to happen though. Too bad. Oh well, not like we haven't got enough rain already. This weekend has been pretty good so far. Nice and long. Saturday seemed to last forever, and so is today. That's how I like my weekends. Otherwise they seem too short and I'm not ready to go back to school. And I still have Monday! Maybe we'll do something fun. I sure am bored right now though. I've eaten like a fat pig...Mom brought home ice cream and chips just because there was an Alabama football game on, which I didn't watch. The food was good though. I probably ate enough for about 3 people yesterday and today. Oh well. I can always walk it off later.
Yesterday Kathy took my pictures to go on my senior ad page... some of them turned out good. There's only one that I really like. The other three or so I just tolerate. The rest of them suck. And that's good, for me. Pssh, whatever. Fuck it all. I don't care what I look like or what my pictures look like.
If I stay bored much longer I'm not gonna be in a good mood anymore... maybe I can get my mom to take me somewhere. Something... blah. Oh, hey! I can always read The Silence of the Lambs. Yeah baby.
So yeah, I've become obsessed with the Hannibal Lecter books... they're seriously good though. I recommend them to anybody who likes to read.

Omg, I just licked my hand and I forgot I had put pain reliever stuff on it earlier... my tongue is burning... I rinsed my mouth out with water like 5 times, and then I brushed my teeth and scrubbed my tongue with the toothbrush, and that helped a little but my tongue still burns. Omg. I hope it doesn't rot off or anything. Uh, yeah, about that... don't ask me why I licked my hand. I don't remember. I think it was hot.

Well, enough of that before I hurt myself again or something.

"I actually had a pretty good day today."

Mon, 18 Aug 2008 21:56:25 GMT

I actually had a pretty good day today.

I kinda like working in the library first block. It puts me in a mellow mood for the rest of the day. Mrs. Moates and Mrs. McCord are both really nice, and the other girls that work in there are okay. I had fun sticking labels on books all block. xD Hey, at least I wasn't doing schoolwork. The other girls complain a lot. I wish I could tell them to shut up, and if they don't like it they shouldn't have taken the class. I hate whiney brats.

In Anatomy we had a test, and some junior (I think) girl was complaining pretty much all block. "I don't like Monday tests! Don't make us take a test today! It's Monday! Let it be first thing Tuesday! Please! No test today!" and then "This is too hard! Give us a word bank! Word bank! Word bank! This is stupid, I hate this! Word bank, word bank, word bank!" Well, you little fucking brat, if you don't like it then you shouldn't have taken the fucking class! I wanted to slap her and tell her to shut the fuck up or else go home and cry to her mommy. Damn, I hate whiners. People are so fucking greedy. Why do people expect to have everything handed to them on a silver platter and then have their ass kissed? Really.

But anyway, rant aside, I did have a pretty decent day.

"I'm not loving myself all that much today."

Sun, 17 Aug 2008 23:31:48 GMT

Well, wouldn't you know it, I forgot about LJ again. *watches commitment fly out window*

I think Mimi is determined for Papa to die. It's almost like she's doing everything she can to make him as bad off as possible. My mom's over there now, she's been gone a long time. *sigh* She'll probably go buy more cigarettes before she comes home. I think someone just needs to get Mimi away from him. She's killing him. She thinks everyone else in the world is trying to kill him. She just needs to get away from him...

We went to church this morning, and I hated it. I'm not supposed to hate it. I'm sure God's pretty fucking pleased with me right now.

I'm not loving myself all that much today.

"I started school!"

Thu, 14 Aug 2008 00:43:05 GMT

Omg, I forgot about this! I'm such a stupidhead! I made a commitment! A COMMITMENT! xD

Anyway... well, I started school! I had to change my schedule twice. The first time they had me in a class I already took, and then I dropped French because it was retarded. I've already wrote all about it in an email to Melissa so I don't really feel like writing all that again... maybe I will later. Anyway, school's alright so far, I guess. Could be better. Could be worse too, though, so I'll just be happy with it. I like Anatomy. Mr. Moore is such a great teacher. :3

"Wow, life's been busy for me lately."

Sat, 09 Aug 2008 21:40:51 GMT

Wow, life's been busy for me lately... compared to how I usually just sit around on my butt all the time. xD
Thursday was my cousin Meghan's wedding rehearsal so me and my mom went to that... and then Friday was the wedding, so we went to that and then to the reception, which was at The Pumpkin Patch. It was outdoors. It was really lucky because it didn't rain and there were no bugs and it wasn't hot or anything. ... that was actually more like a miracle, now that I think about it. xD But it was fun. They did karaoke and danced and stuff, and I ate a lot... lol.
After the wedding my grandpa wanted to go home because he didn't feel good, and he wanted my grandma to go too, and they had rode there with my aunt and uncle Susan and Randy in their van, so my dad took them home in their van and left his truck there, and Susan rode with me and mom and Randy rode with my aunt and uncle Tina and Andrew. It was pretty hectic. Then we were in the car and my mom was talking about how we were never gonna hear the end of it from Mimi, my grandma, about how she never got to go to Meghan's reception and it was all Papa's fault because he never let her go anywhere and blah blah blah... and yeah, that totally would have happened. So my mom and Susan got to the reception and stayed a while and finally they decided to go pick up Mimi so she could come and my dad would stay with Papa, because he can't stay by himself. So I was there with Randy and Tina and Andrew for a while. My cousin Kelsey and friend Christin were there but they ran off somewhere, and Kelsey was the maid of honor so I didn't get to see them much. So I just sat there with Tina for so long that my butt got sore from the wooden benches... and FINALLY my mom and Susan got back, long after my paranoia started to kick in and I was sure they'd had a wreck and died or something. So... yeah. Anyway it was pretty late by the time we left. And we had to go back and get Dad's truck, but my mom can't drive it so we had to go pick him up at Mimi's and then go all the way back. Susan rode with us cause she didn't want my mom to drive all the way back alone at night. Cause my mom and dad wanted to just drop me off at the house so I could take care of the dog and cat, but I wasn't having any of that. I complained until they let me go with them. They want to stay home alone at night when people are going to come break in and kill me? HELL NO! So we drove all the way back and got dad's truck, then finally we got to go home and go to sleep. By then it was probably like 12:30 or 1:00.

And then this morning we got up at 9:00 to go eat breakfast at Mimi's because Tina and Andrew picked up biscuits from Whataburger. So we all ate over there, and hung around for a while and then we decided to go to Durbin's to get peaches and ice cream, because Susan and Tina wanted to get some peaches. And I wanted ice cream. xD Well, we went to Todd's instead of Durbin's because their peaches were cheaper, and I got a cookies n creme ice cream cone, and Tina brought back four little tubs of peach ice cream for everybody. And we stopped by Zaxby's to pick up chicken for lunch. We didn't want to eat Mimi's cooking. xD So we all ate lunch there, and my mom and my uncles acted like retards and kept everybody entertained. So... that was fun.

But, there was one thing I wanted to write about besides all this boring stuff. My grandparents... they have so many problems. Mimi's insane, Papa has Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and can barely walk, and Mimi just makes him worse yelling at him all the time because she's insane... and it's just horrible. Pretty much by now they're just slowly dying. Mimi's dying mentally, and Papa's dying mentally and Mimi's killing him spiritually. She's always talking about how she never gets to do anything because of him in front of him. And no one will tell her to shut the hell up! She's making him feel so bad! It's bad enough as it is! I think the only thing worse than having to lose someone you love is having to watch them die. And I don't mean literally, physically die. I mean physically, mentally, spiritually... everything. Papa can't even remember who I am half the time now. There's nothing worse than that. I can't say from experience because I've never had anyone really close to me die, just my great-grandmother and a man from my church who I liked, but no one in my close family. But I really do thing that this is even worse than having them die suddenly. Maybe it's not, I don't know. What do I know. But I just wish they could be happy and healthy. Papa always seems so depressed now, and it's Mimi's fault. He's not in his right mind anymore, and neither is she but she just won't admit it. Her doctor told her to get evaluated for Alzheimer's and she screwed everything he said around saying he told her she has Alzheimer's and now she wants to switch doctors because she thinks he's out to get her just like everyone else... of course she could be in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's and not even remember who she was and she would still refuse to admit she had it. Idk if she does. She just might. But even if she does she'll never get treated for it because to her, it's impossible for there to be anything mentally wrong with her. Papa's the invalid, not her. And she makes sure to keep him that way. It's just horrible.

"I went to my cousin Meghan's wedding rehearsal."

Fri, 08 Aug 2008 03:28:34 GMT

This evening I went to my cousin Meghan's wedding rehearsal. It was possibly the most boring thing I've experienced in my life, second only to sitting in hospital waiting rooms. But afterwards we went to Lessie's (restaurant) and ate downstairs... it was free too. :D So that was fun because me and Kelsey looked at my lolcats on my iPods and laughed. xD She is the only person who shares my love of "weird cat pictures," as my mom called them. Also I got to see my aunt Susan and uncle Randy so that was fun. Susan is awesome.

"I'm so paranoid."

Thu, 07 Aug 2008 05:08:21 GMT

Lol. It's midnight and my dad finally got up. I was getting kinda worried. xD So now he's in here bothering me, of course. >.>

Anyway, I was thinking today, and I realized I can be pretty paranoid. I posted about it on my forum. I'll copy it here.

I'm so paranoid.

I am, seriously. I'm always afraid bad things are going to happen. Every time I'm home alone I'm always afraid someone's going to break into the house and kill me, and at night it's the same way. When my parents are gone I worry about them. My mom has to drive so far to work I'm always afraid she'll get in a wreck and get killed. My dad's sick so he's been in bed all day long, and a while ago the thought ran through my mind, What if he's dead in there and we don't know it? Of course I know it's ridiculous to think that. I guess my life has always just been so good I keep thinking something bad has got to happen sooner or later. It's not that I don't appreciate the good. I really do. I just keep being afraid something's going to happen. I'm afraid my grandparents are going to die, my mom's going to die, one of my friends is going to die, someone's going to break in and kill me and my parents are going to come home and I imagine the looks on their faces when they see my body. I don't like being alone anywhere. I'm afraid to go walking down the road by myself because I'm afraid someone will get me.

Ugh. It sucks.

"I'm... too sexy for my taquitos... too sexy for my taquitos..."

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:13:38 GMT

I'm hungry. We don't have any food. My dad's sick and he's been in bed nearly all day... it's hot in here... uuugh. I don't want to go cook taquitos. I'm too good for taquitos.

I'm... too sexy for my taquitos... too sexy for my taquitos...

It just doesn't have quite the same ring to it.

I was going to make a sandwich but we have no sandwich meat... what the hell is that? We always have sandwich meat. Where did it go? We just had some a few days ago. It's not like we eat sandwiches for every meal. Darn sandwich meat.

"One of Kathy's kitties got in my lap." :3

Wed, 06 Aug 2008 03:55:06 GMT

Today Kathy picked me up around 12:30, and we went and ate at Edgar's. Then we watched One Missed Call at her house. It was kinda retarded, lol. I couldn't really pay attention because of all the cats and the dog so I didn't really understand it. xD Yeah, I was having fun until my 21 year old cousin Leslie got home. I love Leslie but she's REALLY loud and a little spoiled. Leslie wanted to go to Walmart, so we went to Walmart. Then we went to Sonic and got ice cream, then went back and finished the movie. Then we did a puzzle, which was a mistake, because it was harder than it looked. xD The pieces were shaped retarded. So, I came home around 7:00 and ate a panini and now I'm gonna be online all night. xD

I had fun. I would've had more fun if Leslie hadn't been there. Oh well. I still love her. One of Kathy's kitties got in my lap. :3 She was a nice kitty. But then she didn't wanna get up. oO;

My kitty is on my bed. Lobo is outside because he's been rolling in something nasty and he smells like death. Ugh. He's so disgusting.

"Drama queens. I can't stand them."

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 19:10:03 GMT

Well, Kathy didn't call today. Maybe tomorrow.
I cooked some taquitos for lunch. Yummeh.
Is it weird that I'm 17 and I play Neopets? It is actually pretty fun... the forum is no use, full of idiots, but doing the dailies and taking care of your pets is kinda fun. My Lupe is sick right now... stupid Darkest Faerie. I went on on my last birthday and the layout had changed to confetti and birthday-themed things. It was nice. :]
I don't really have anything to talk about, since nothing has happened today... I'm just obeying my commitment. xD Maybe things will get more interesting when school starts. But no drama, hopefully. xD Pssh. Who am I kidding. I don't have drama. And when I do I don't make it drama.
That's something I can talk about. Drama queens. I can't stand them. Just because you have a fight with your best friend doesn't mean you have to tell everyone who will listen all about it and turn it into some big brawl. You just suck it up and get over it. My best friend hooked me up with a guy once, and then she went out with him after we broke up. But it's not as bad as it sounds. She asked me first. She seemed really worried that I'd get mad. I didn't care though. I didn't really give a crap about him. xD Well, that was one considerate thing she did. There weren't many of those. Well, I don't consider her my friend anymore, some things happened, but I never made a big deal out of it. I just dealt with it quietly. Yeah, I talked to my other friends about it but I tried not to let it get around.
Anyway, enough of that, this is a boring topic. I guess that's enough of an entry for today though.

"Each time I get online I shall post an entry in this blog."

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 00:01:00 GMT

I am going to make a commitment. From now on, each time I get online I shall post an entry in this blog, even if it's just rambling about nothing.

Yeah. Like that's gonna happen.

Heh. I'll try though, seriously.

As for today, I'm excited for school to start. I got all my school stuff together, bought new clothes, finished up my last summer reading report. And what, there's still a week left? :[ This has never happened before, strangely enough. I always dreaded going back to school. I became furious every time someone mentioned it. Have you ever noticed how, just when summer break is drawing to a close, every adult you talk to says, "You'll be going back to school soon, won't you?" or "Are you excited to go back to school?" or "When does school start back?" SHUT THE HELL UP!! That's how I always felt about their stupid questions and reminders. Just SHUT THE FREAKING HELL UP! But this year for some reason I don't mind going back. Just because it's my senior year? Maybe. Or maybe because I'm taking some interesting classes, and this year just sounds so much more promising. I am hoping I'll have lots of fun as a senior. I think I deserve it. Not because I think I'm special or anything. Just for being a senior. Everyone deserves an awesome senior year.

My aunt Kathy made plans to pick me up sometime this week for us to hang out. My mom always works, and my dad will probably be working, so I won't have to sit at home alone all day. Maybe we'll go see a movie or something. Kathy is awesome because she has about 15 cats and is basically just crazy. She's the one who cuts my hair for me. No barber shops for me! :3 So I'm thinking that will be fun.

And then, school! I keep wondering if it's really just the first day I'm looking forward to, not starting school again altogether. I probably just want to go for the first few days of fun and discovering and then come back home and be done with it. Okay, no more school! I'll take a week off and then go back later. xD Wouldn't that be great?